I Used To Be A Night Owl

In my younger days, eons ago it seems, I was a night owl. My last semester at the University of Miami rarely saw me going to bed before seven or eight in the morning and the school’s schedule and mine didn’t mesh.

Say what you will about New York, L.A. or Las Vegas, New Orleans (The Big Easy, The Big Sleazy, The City That Care Forgot) is a night owl’s nirvana. You NEVER left your house to go out carousing before 11 p.m. or midnight. Bars open 24 hours a day. Attending a Dr. John session at Tipitina’s that broke up at 7:30 in the morning. I loved watches out at sea from 4 to 6 in the morning and watching things take shape as the sun drove out the night.

But things have changed. Up here on the hill I can’t seem to sleep past 6 a.m. and this morning I was up at five and sitting on the porch with my steaming mug of coffee listening to roosters crowing from all points of the compass and cattle mooing on the other side of the trees on the east side of the field. But I’m nostalgic for those years I thrived in the night. I posted this video by the group Vaya Con Dios last October but it’s worth a repeat.

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Language Encounter At The Supermarket

One problem I’ve encountered here in Panama has been finding some spices I need for my favorite recipes, specifically cayenne pepper. None of the four supermarkets I’ve been to in the city of David, Panama’s third largest, has had it and when I’ve asked people who work at the markets I’m greeted with a blank stare. They don’t have a clue to what it is.

Today in the spice section at the El Rey supermarket I found three bottles of cayenne. Pricey but essential. I bought two of the bottles and good guy that I am left the third for some other gringo who might be looking for it, too. In the veggie section there were packages of small peppers, red, green and yellow in the same pack. I thought perhaps I’d buy some and try drying them myself. I asked the clerk in the department if they were “picante” and he answered me in English. “No, sweet. You want hot?”

“Si,” I said.

“Over here,” the clerk said.

What he had were habaneros which I didn’t want. In our brief conversation he spoke to me entirely in English and I responded entirely in Spanish without even thinking about it. Oh, well.

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This Should Be The Mandatory Uniform For Store Personnel In Panama

This tee shirt and a lot of others you might enjoy can be found here: http://www.neatoshop.com/catg/Funny-T-Shirts

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More Language Confusion

Yesterday’s post reminded me of this old joke about the confusion of language.

Three nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St Peter at the pearly gates. St Pete says “Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I’m granting you one week to go back to Earth and be anyone you want. You can do anything you want and there will be no penalties, no recriminations. You’ve earned it.”

The first nun says “I want to be Britney Spears,”and POOF she’s gone.

The second says “I want to be Madonna,” and POOF she’s gone.

The third says “I want to be Sarah Pipalini.”.

St Peter looks perplexed. “Who?” he says.

“Sarah Peplini” replies the nun.

“You mean Sarah Palin?” St. Peter asks going through his huge register of names.

“No,’ the old nun insists…”Sarah Pipalini.”

St Peter shakes his head and says “I’m sorry, I can’t find anyone with that name. It just doesn’t ring a bell.

The nun reaches into her habit and withdraws an almost ancient newspaper clipping. Carefully she unfolds it and hands it to St Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing.

He hands it back to her and says “No, no, Sister, this says the Sahara PIPELINE was laid by 500 men in 7 days!”.

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Learning A New Language

Having retired to Panama I’m having to deal with learning a new language. My third, actually. And while it’s a challenge it’s quite fun.

Yesterday I stumbled upon a blog by a French girl living in Australia describing the challenges she’s facing dealing with a new language. Now, Australian is sort of English in the same way the language of the U.S. is sort of English. They both derive from the same roots but each has veered off slightly and have become distinct in their own ways.

Also, yesterday I stumbled across this post in Bits and Pieces which came from A Public Flogging and there’s no telling where he might have appropriated it from. But I think it’s hilarious and is a good example of what people go through when they travel outside their linguistic comfort zone.

In 1965, in a noble attempt to help the rest of us understand Australians, Alistair Morrison published Let Stalk Strine, a glossary of terms used Down Under:

air fridge: average
bandry: boundary
dismal guernsey: decimal currency
egg nishner: air conditioner
garbler mince: a couple of minutes
marmon dead: Mom and Dad
rise up lides: razor blades
sag rapes: sour grapes
split nair dyke: splitting headache
stewnce: students
tiger look: take a look

“Aorta mica laura genst all these cars cummer ninner Sinny. Aorta have more buses. An aorta put more seats innem so you doan tefter stan aller toym — you carn tardly move innem air so crairded.”

The book went through 17 impressions in one year, a sign the problem had gotten completely out of hand. Just a few months before it appeared, the English author Monica Dickens had been signing copies of her latest book in a Sydney shop when a woman handed her a copy and said, “Emma Chisit.” Dickens inscribed the volume “To Emma Chisit” and handed it back. “No,” said the woman, leaning forward: “Emma Chisit?”

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Here’s A Tough Quiz

1.  Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2.  What famous North American landmark is constantly moving  backward?

3.  Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons.   All other vegetables must be replanted every year.  What are the only two perennial  vegetables?

4.  What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you  can buy pear brandy with a real pear inside the  bottle.  The pear is whole and ripe, and  the bottle is genuine; it hasn’t been cut in any way.  How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6.  Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ‘ dw’, and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar.
Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9.  Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter ‘S.’

Answers in comments…don’t peek.

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My Fingers Are Permanently Pruned

Well, the numbers are in and July 2010 was the wettest month EVER  since people around here have been keeping track. I thought it had rained every day except for the last one, but my fellow blogger and neighbor, Joyce, says it didn’t rain on the third. Since it rained 29 days out of 30 in June and 29 out of 31 in July if you haven’t written it down it all merges into one big, soggy mess. Thankfully living up around 2,500 feet above sea level flooding isn’t much of a concern but if you got as much rain as we’ve been getting you might consider that ark-building project you’ve been putting off.

July, up here on the hill, saw 59 inches of rain fall. That’s FIFTY NINE INCHES, folks…one lousy inch less than FIVE FEET in just one month! June and July combined saw nearly eight and a half feet of rain which, for most of you reading this, would mean if you live in a home with standard ceiling height  there’d be water in your attic.

As I’ve said in previous posts the mornings here are usually glorious but when I woke up this morning it was raining and continues an hour and a half later though I see through the east window the sky seems to be lighting up a bit on the other side of the valley. But only a little.

Mary Farmer has detailed all the data complete with graphs at  http://potrerillosarriba.com/pages/archives.html#July

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A Good Friend Died Today

This morning I took a walk up the hill to the Pueblo and was going to write about that, but when I got back to the house I got this email from my friend Stephen in Fort Lauderdale.

“Richard, about 10:30 AM Penny went outside, an hour and a half later Kevin went outside to call her in, upon her not responding he went over to her and realized she had died.

“I was at the house yesterday with Kevin and Paul, who said that Penny hadn’t eaten anything all week.  We were discussing that if she continued like that she would surely die.  Sadly, I guess we were right.  Kevin said, it appeared as though she didn’t suffer at all.

“Services will be held this afternoon at her home.  Kevin will save her tags and we will bring them to you when we visit.
“Sorrowfully
“Stephan”

She was one of a kind. I know all people say that about their dogs, but she really was. I rescued her from the puppy prison back in ’96. She was about a year or two old then.

People would ask me what kind of a dog she was. Well, she was too unique to just call her a mutt so I’d say she was a rooftop terrier. “What’s that?” they’d ask, and I’d tell them it was the kind of terrier that lived on the cabin roof of my boat.

When she was young she was absolutely fearless about so many things. Around the marina where we lived were huge blue land crabs and Penny delighted in killing them.

They’d bite her on the nose but she’d just shake them off and bother them until she was able to flip them on their backs. Then she’d proceed to bite their legs off. I used to find the poor things around the yard with only one or two legs left and have to dispatch them. If she found one in a corner of the shop one morning then every morning for a week afterward the first thing she’d do when we got to work was to check out the same corner expecting to find another one.

On the other hand there were some things that absolutely terrified her. Leather for instance. I think she had been abused by her previous owners and I’m sure they had kids who did things to her they shouldn’t have. For some reason there was a baseball glove at the shop. Stephen and I called it “The Big Hand.” All you’d have to do was pick it up and call her attention to you. She’d see that glove and flee. Once my ex girlfriend bought me a pair of black shoes and Penny wouldn’t come near me when I was wearing them for at least a month after I got them.

If you read some of my earlier stories about her you’ll know how she dealt with a couple of people who used to come to the yard often who didn’t like her.

In the last year or so she had trouble with her hind quarters and I’d often have to lift her up until she was able to get her legs situated under her. She was about 15 or 16 years old which is a pretty long life for a dog and she spent most of it with people who loved her. We and she were lucky to have known each other.

Mark Twain summed it up pretty good when he wrote:  “Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.  The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.”

Rest in peace my good friend.

Addendum

Penny was the second pound puppy I’ve had. The other one, Puddles (because when she was young she used to leave them around), could have been a litter-mate because they looked so much alike. I think the similarity between the two was what attracted me to Penny even though she was much bigger and younger than what I was looking for considering that I was living on a 25′ sailboat at the time.

Puddles, too, was a great dog. Blind and 12 years old when I got her in New Orleans, she was a terrific watch dog. She never barked at people passing the house. They could stop on the sidewalk outside and party if they wanted and she just ignored them. But put a hand on the gate and the furies were unleashed. Outside was the world…inside the gate was HERS, and she owned it. Puddles was about 18 when I had to put her down and it was the roughest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. I’m glad Penny just went quietly and peacefully on her own and didn’t put Kevin through that horrible experience of putting a good friend down.

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Lightning Strike

As the readers of this blog know we’ve had an unprecedented amount of rainfall here. Yesterday was the 29th consecutive day of it in July. The morning started off lovely as usual and I was able to get down the hill to David and do some grocery shopping and pick up my monthly allotment of Plavix, which makes me bleed and bruise like a hemophiliac, and get back to the house before the rain started.

Towards evening, just before sunset, as I was starting supper the off and on rain developed into a downpour complete with thunder and lightning. As I stood at the kitchen island looking out at the back veranda I saw a brilliant white spark on the concrete with a white streak of light zooming off into the back yard. There was a crack like a cap gun followed instantly by a resounding crash of thunder and the electricity was off.

This is the second time I’ve seen this happen in the same spot. I suspect there’s some rebar or metal grating under the concrete slab very close to the surface that’s acting sort of like a lightning rod.

There was nothing to do about it at the moment and there was just enough light left in the day to quickly cook my dinner before it went completely dark. Fortunately the stove is propane powered.

Down here less than nine degrees north of the equator there isn’t much lingering twilight time. Sun sets and you get perhaps 15 or 20 minutes and then it’s night. Bang. Just like that.

I don’t watch much television here. We have a satellite dish and I get movies in English along with such things as the History Channel, National Geographic, the Simpsons, Family Guy and the Discovery Channel. Unlike in the States where the t.v. was always on in the background it’s not like that here. The internet is where I spend most of my time. So, without television or the internet I resorted to that old standby; a real book. Not one of those Kindle things that run on batteries but an actual book with pages you turn by hand. There’s a nice battery-powered lantern in the house, sort of like the old Coleman lanterns we used to use when we spent the summers camping at Nickerson State Park in Brewster, Mass., when I was a kid, but without the hiss and the heat those lanterns produced.

This morning I was still able to have my morning cup of coffee. I buy my coffee as beans and grind each pot individually. But no electricity, no functioning grinder. Fortunately after a previous blackout I’d ground up several batches and there was still one left so I was able to de-grumpify myself before trying to attack the problem of no electricity.

A few nights earlier we experienced a blackout but it was area-wide. All the houses and even the street lights were out. But this time the street lights remained on though the houses below me were dark. The two houses above me showed light in their windows. I wasn’t sure if it was a partial area blackout or just me.

Unlike in the States where the main breaker for the house is actually IN the house it’s not like that here in Panama. At least not here in Chiriqui. The electric meter and the main breakers are located in structures like this.

This thing serves a dual purpose. It not only holds the electric meter and the main breaker switch for the house but the bottom is where the trash is deposited for pickup. If you examine the breaker box you’ll see it doesn’t have a cover to protect the breakers from the elements. None of them around here do. And how much protection from wind-blown rain do you think that little overhang offers? It’s certainly not conducive to trying to reset a blown breaker in the pouring rain.

And this thing isn’t even CLOSE to the house. You have to walk about two hundred yards down the main drive marked by the red X.

Then another 100 yards out to the dirt road

Being sufficiently caffeinated at this point I start the trek out to the main breaker structure hoping that nothing more serious had happened than that the breaker had tripped. Just a couple of days before the owners of the house left for the States we’d had a loss of electricity that involved Union Fenosa, the local electric company, and a private electrician in order to get service restored. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to go through all that again because it would mean I’d have to deal with people in Spanish over the phone.

I don’t have much of a problem getting Panamanians to understand what I’m trying to say even in my fractured butchering of their native tongue. The problem is ME understanding what they’re trying to say. At the risk of offending my Panamanian friends, Panamanians DON’T speak good Spanish. To my ear the average man-in-the-street Panamanian sounds like a shit salesmen with a mouth full of samples. They lop off the ends of their words with great abandon. Potrerillos ends up Potehrillo for example. Now, in their defense, I’m sure they’d be in the same situation if they were traveling around the U.S. where New Englanders drive cahs and hate those Castro fellers down in Cuber, and Texans drive around in pickemup trucks with gun racks in the rear windah padnah, or having someone in the Gentilly section of New Orleans telling them to wash up in the zinc.

Trying to talk to someone in a language other than your own on the phone is one of the hardest things there is to do. I found that out in France where even after three years I dreaded having to talk to someone in French on the phone. You get no visual clues as to what the other person is trying to convey.

Another problem with the Panamanian’s use of the language is that they zip through a sentence as though they were being charged by the minute. I swear I listen to them talking to each other and I just KNOW the other person can’t understand one word in ten the speaker is saying so they do what I do which is simply smile and nod their head as if they do, indeed, understand speaker.

Yesterday morning, I met a remarkable man whose name I promptly forgot. He supervises the corn field below us and he came up to chat with me for a few moments. He speaks some English but our conversation was almost completely in Spanish. I find it exceptionally rude to speak English to people whose language I can use no matter how limited my facility with it might be. I felt the same way living in France. It came to the point where I felt uncomfortable speaking with the French in English even if they spoke it well themselves. When I told this gentleman that I had a problem understanding the Panamanian version of Spanish and the rapidity with which they spoke it  he made a real effort to speak to me distinctly and slowly and I understood at least 95% of everything he said. One thing I’ve noticed in my journeys through foreign language encounters is after you ask someone to speak slowly they do so for a half dozen words or so before getting back up to speed and losing you again. But this gentleman had the ability to recognize the problem and to consciously moderate himself so we each had an enjoyable encounter. I hope to be able to spend more time with him in the future.

But I do digress, don’t I?

When I got to the breaker box I found that it had, in fact, been tripped. I reset it and coming back up the driveway I could see the lights in the kitchen sparkling through the windows. The first thing I did after turning on the computer was to grind up enough coffee so I’ll be able to brew up four cups without needing the grinder. Note to self: next trip to the grocery buy a small bag of ground coffee. Some day the electricity might be off longer than four cups-full.

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Red Sky In the Morning – Sailor Take Warning

For the past 26 consecutive mornings I’ve watched the red-tinged clouds to my left as I have my wake up cup of coffee on the front porch. Not today. We’ll see if the saying holds true but I’m not betting on it.

UPDATE 7/27/10 2:31 p.m.

Thunder, lightning and rain.

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