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My Book To Be In Spanish

As my regular readers know, I have a book available on Amazon.com.

I’m certainly no threat to break the number of sales posted by the likes of J.A. Konrath or Amanda Hocking. Not by a long shot. Those two are pulling down close to a million bucks a year off their digital books. Despair! currently logs in at #404,115 on the Amazon Bestseller’s List. It’s not the bottom of the barrel, because some people have actually bought the book whereas some people never sell a single book, and Amazon actually made a direct deposit of royalties earned to my bank account at the end of last month. So while not at the absolute bottom of the heap it’s certainly visible from where I sit. Sigh!

Despite the lowly ranking I’m not discouraged. In fact, I’m pretty sure my book has a distinction that those in the top 100 haven’t achieved. It’s being translated into another language!

This morning I had a meeting with Stephany Peñaloza and Deyreth Garcia, two students who are working towards their Master’s Degree at Latina University in David. Stephany will translate the first half of the book into Spanish and Deyreth the second half. Actually they could translate far fewer pages of the book than there are and still comply with their course requirements.

I’m not sure who it was that contacted me first, but it was a gringo who Stephany had contacted saying she was looking for a book about Panama to translate for her thesis. Since fully a third of the book, about Columbus’s ill-fated fourth voyage to the Americas takes place here in Panama she selected my book over others that were submitted to her. I’m honored.

STEPHANY (L)  DEYRETH (R)

They say it should be finished this fall. I don’t know about you, but I think it’s pretty cool.

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Musica Tipica de Panama

It occurred to me that I have been remiss in delving into the music of Panama in this blog. A shame because I love music so much.

When riding the local buses here there is always music playing, either on the radio or from the driver’s own collection. Much of it, most of it, in fact, is what we gringos would consider typical “Latin” rhythms. There are some drivers who actually play a lot of plain, old, rock and roll from the good old U. S. of A. There are certain musical styles outside the States that are easily identified by gringos. No one needs to tell us what mariachi music is, nor a lot of other typically “Mexican” music, either. We’re all familiar with sambas, rumbas, tangos, meringues, and, of course tangos.

But a genre we’re not familiar with is what is known here as “Musica Tipica.” It’s heavy on accordion and congas. There is almost always a female singer and her contribution reminds me, very much, of Spain’s Flamenco with its slightly nasal quality. I found “Tipica” while “station surfing and fell in love with it almost immediately. Most nights I go to bed with station 107.9 playing and always fall asleep before the timer shuts the music off for the night.

Some famous Panamanian artists in this genre are Ulpiano Vergara, Dorindo Cárdenas, Victorio Vergara, Roberto “Papi” Brandao, Nenito Vargas, Yin Carrizo, Nina Campines, Abdiel Núñez, Manuel de Jesús Abrego, and Samy Y Sandra Sandoval, a brother and sister combo, just to name a few.

Probably the most famous Panamanian singer is Grammy winner Ruben Blades who also served as the country’s Minister of Tourism. I’ve posted one of the many versions of his song “Patria” before. This is NOT a “Tipica” song. I just love it so you’ll have to bear with me. Many consider it to be Panama’s “Second National Anthem.”

Here Jonathan Chavez interprets the same song in “Tipica” mode.

Here’s why Samy y Sandra are so popular

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Photo Proves Bin Laden Is Dead

President Obama, sensitive to continuing criticism about not revealing proof of Osama Bin Laden’s death, caved in, today, and released the following photo from formerly sealed files.

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Dog Artistry?

Several years ago I saw a story on t.v. about a dog who constantly arranged its toys in artistic patterns in the back yard.The dog had tons of stuffed toys and she would place them around the yard grouped by type, size, and assemble them in circles, squares and triangles on the lawn. The owner would gather the toys and pile them all up on the back and the dog would do it all over again.

After more than an hour on YouTube I was unable to find anything about this phenomenon. Perhaps it was from pre-YouTube days.

What made me think about this comes from the house’s resident mutt, Charlotte.

In a nearby wooded patch Charlotte found a treasure trove of huge bones which she faithfully brings back to the house to gnaw on at her leisure. This morning I noticed that she had arranged them on the lawn at the side of the house in this pattern.

I hadn’t noticed the arrangement of the bones before this morning. What is interesting is that every now and then  she will take one of the bones from the collection over to the blanket she lies on and chew on it for a while and then replace it when she’s finished.

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Man vs. Woman For Dummies

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Tomorrow Starts Year Two

According to the stamp in my passport I arrived in Panama on April 29, 2010 so tomorrow will be the first day of year two. If you’ve been following this blog you’ll see I have been enjoying my adopted country.

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Paperwork Done

The first steps towards acquiring my Panamanian driver’s license was accomplished yesterday.

First stop was to the New American Embassy, out in Clayton in the old Canal Zone. Unlike the old Embassy which was an attractive building in downtown Panama City Bay facing the bay, the new one reflects today’s realities of mad bombers and terrorists. To my eye it had a bunker-like appearance with more in common with a super-max prison than anything else.

What surprised me was that there were no marines on guard at the entrance where you check in but instead it was a private Panamanian security company with people of limited English fluency.

Inside the Consular Services section people waited patiently for their numbers to be called and a loudspeaker was in constant operation directing people to one of 14 windows to address whatever business they had at the Embassy. It was surprising how fast people were dealt with.

To get the affidavit I needed to get my driver’s license I was directed right to the 15th window. The girl checked my current Florida driver’s license for the expiration date and my Panamanian-issue “carnet.” While I was filling out the form an American woman took her place at the window with a stack of papers at least two inches high. Something to do with the sale of a house or property somewhere. The girl behind the bullet-proof glass went through each page and putting little Post-it tabs on each one that required a signature. I had to wait patiently while all this going on. Her fee was $300.

When I got my shot again I had to pay $51 for the affidavit to be notarized. But the girl didn’t do that, she took my money and said I would be called by name to window 13 which didn’t seem too auspicious to me. There was a man and a woman at the window when I took my seat nearby. He was an older gringo and she was a young Panamanian. They were married and there was some issue with paperwork they were having a problem with. I couldn’t follow what was going on too well, but I believe it had something to do with getting her a visa to live in the States. It went on and on and on and on with the gringo digressing into stories that seemed to have little to do with the problem that needed to be addressed.

I was next up, was given the affidavit  which I signed and in less than a minute I was done. All together I was there for less than an hour.

The next stop was the Panama Foreign Ministry office (Ministerio de Relaciones Exteriores). I had about a 10 minute wait before my number was called. The girl at the counter (NO bullet-proof glass) glanced at the papers, gave me some kind of a form, told me to go to the Banco National directly beneath their offices and purchase two $1 stamps (timbres) and return at 4:30 to pick up my affidavit.

One of the nice thing about Panamanian banks is there’s a special line for “Jubilados” like myself.  There was a man at the counter who left in less than a minute. I presented the forms I’d received upstairs which were stamped with a rubber stamp. They love those things here and the wielders bang them on the papers with as much force as they can muster. I was out of the bank in less than five minutes.  It was just past 10 in the morning so I returned to the hostel.

The Foreign Ministry Office official closing time is listed as 4:45 so I showed up a little after 4. There was only one other customer there so I went directly up to the counter, presented the rubber-stamped forms to a young man who came out with the Embassy affidavit. I attached the “timbres” to the back of the form which were then whapped with another rubber stamp and I was finished. Total time at the Ministry was no more than five minutes and I was back out on the street. It took me much longer than that to catch a cab bck to the hostel.

In the cab I looked at the form that had been attached to the affidavit. Essentially it said something like “yeah, this looks like it comes from the U.S. Embassy but we aren’t going to vouch for its authenticity.”

So now I have  free day in Panama City. I just returned from lunch with Omar and his wife. He took me to the nearby Popeye’s Fried Chicken place nearby (at my request) and after work hours today I’ll be meeting with my lawyer, Lizi, for drinks. Early tomorrow morning I’ll get on the bus and head back to the mountain. I should be home before it gets dark.

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Made it to Panamá

Well, I made it to Panamá without any problems. Here they don’t say Panama City. It’s  Panamá . Actually things worked out pretty well. I caught the 8 a.m. bus down to David and there was no line at the ticket window to speak of. I was the third person. The price of the ride, after using the Jubilado discount was $10.60. The last time I did it the cost was $8.80. The cost of diesel is just a whisker under $4 so it’s not a surprise that the price of everything is going up.

I got into the city at 4 in the afternoon and, as you have to, I asked the driver how much it would cost to get to the hostel. He said $5 and my response, in Spanish, of course, was “how much would it be for a Panamanian?” He said “four” I said “three” and the deal was done. It was two bucks last year but the price of regular unleaded is now $4.18/gal so the extra buck was reasonable.

I’m staying at a hostel called La Jungla (The Jungle) not far from where I used to stay but that one closed down.  This isn’t too bad and I’ve got a private room with a/c.

Tomorrow I go to the U.S. embassy to get my U.S. driver’s license authenticated and then to the Panamanian Foreign  Ministry office. If my luck holds I can get it all done tomorrow and I should be able to wrap it up Tuesday and head back to the mountain Wednesday.

I hope to meet with my lawyer Lizi and a fellow blogger, Omar who hosts

 http://epiac1216.wordpress.com/

Wish me luck tomorrow.

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Off To Panamá

I’m writing this on Saturday but posting it Sunday morning because I have a long day of bus rides ahead of me Sunday. I have to go to Panamá to do the paperwork necessary to get a Panamanian driver’s license. That shuffle means a trip to the American Embassy and another to the Panamanian Ministerio de Relaciones Exteriores.

For those of you who have never been here Panama City is simply referred to as Panamá by the natives and the word “City” is rarely used when referring to the capitol.

I’ll keep you all updated on what the ordeal is like.

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Another One Bites The Dust

In the last month I’ve encountered three people (that includes a couple) who are packing up and returning to the Great White North. Their stories illustrate some of the common things that happen to people whose retirement dreams turn sour.

The three came to Panama and settled in Boquete on the other side of the valley from Potrerillos Arriba. In the last couple of years Boquete has been heavily promoted as being one of the premier spots for people to retire to when the wish to retire outside of the United States. It’s a place that was described by a sixth grader at a school in David as “Gringolandia.”  There are a lot of expats who have settled in and around Boquete many of them in gated “communities” where they are insulated from the reality of Panama and way too many of them don’t learn Spanish and are often an embarrassment when I see them in the local stores pissed off that the locals haven’t learned English so the expat’s lives would be easier. They’ve been taken in by the misinformation publications and sites like “International Living” who say “many of the locals speak English. NO THEY DON’T! Nor should they. The language here is Spanish and YOU should learn THEIR language, not the other way around.

Dealing with the language for the monoglots who only operate in English is one of the biggest reasons so many people leave. Of the three people mentioned earlier not learning to speak Spanish played a great part in their decision to return north of the border. I talked to the single man who was leaving. He is doing it for health reasons which is a valid excuse but part of his problem is he “can’t find a doctor, here, who speaks English.” Well, MY doctor here speaks near-perfect English. Also this gentleman is from Mississippi and his accent is so thick you can, as they say, cut it with a knife. Now, not to put down anyone from the great state of Mississippi, I had a problem understanding his speech and I’ve been speaking English since I was able to speak at all. He said he’d tried to learn Spanish but he was too old, which is another weak excuse although I’m sure that with his accent no Panamanian would have been able to understand his Spanish anyway.

The couple fall into the biggest category of quitters. Though they say they did all their “due diligence” before committing themselves to living here I think they deluded themselves. They read all the propaganda about how this is a paradise. They came down, looked around, found “Gringolandia” and bought a house. Then, not speaking the language, they became disenchanted and when “culture shock” landed on them with both feet they succumbed and are selling their house at a loss. Besides not learning to speak the language they didn’t do one of the most important things of all which is to have come down here and rented a place for at least six months to see if they could actually make the transition.

Not everyone can, nor should they, pack up their old way of life and move to a different country where the customs and language are so different. It takes a special kind of person to pull it off. It take a commitment that most people don’t possess. Of all my friends, relatives and acquaintances in the States I only know ONE who could pull it off and that’s because he has at various times in his life. Because of circumstances beyond his control he’s living in the States now, but in the past Bill’s lived for at least six years in France, three or four in Spain and spent, literally, years in Mexico and Guatemala. He speaks both French and Spanish. He’s a few years away from retirement age but it wouldn’t surprise me that when he hits the magic number he’ll drift south of the Rio Grande and be successful at it.

The big hurdle for everyone who leaves their comfort zone in the States is, of course, culture shock. It WILL hit you. Just how long that will take before it hits varies from person to person but it is inevitable. Your success depends on how you cope with it and whether you can work your way through it or not. It hit me in France at about the six month mark and that’s about when it gets most people. I really wanted to leave, but I’d committed myself to doing a job and so I stuck it out and am glad I did. In fact, I was hit twice with culture shock. When I returned to the States after being abroad for nearly four years again at about the six month mark I wanted to clear out and thought seriously about returning to France. I didn’t, of course, but the determination to leave the States stayed with me until I could actually get things together and do it. I haven’t had a problem with culture shock here in Panama and I don’t think I will, having gone through it twice I know how to roll with the flow now and deal with things as they are.

It isn’t just moving to another country that can be a problem for people in their retirement years. Want a great deal on a nice sailboat? Go to places like the Virgin Islands, the Rio Dulce in Guatemala and other “destination” ports. There are plenty of boats there that are owned by people who dreamed of sailing around the world, bought a boat, sold everything and took off only to abandon their dream at their first distant port of call. Reality bit them in the pooper and they discovered that the “cruising life” is little more than repairing broken gear in exotic locations without the proper tools or the skills to actually do the job. Usually, though not always, it’s the woman who gives up first. I remember one woman in Guatemala who was forcing the end of the adventure because she couldn’t cope with the lack of shopping malls and places to get her nails done. I’m not making that up. That’s exactly what she said. Of course I think that’s stupid, but for her it was a valid reason for going back and who am I to ridicule her reasons. There hers and not mine.

I feel sorry for those people whose dreams lie ship wrecked on the bleak shores of reality but that’s how life goes sometimes.

Things are changing here in Panama recently. The 29th of this month will mark my first anniversary. The seasons are changing. After a long dry spell we’re starting to get rain on a nearly daily basis now. Not the drenching frog-choking gully washers of last year, but a couple of hours of the wet every day. Gas prices are over $4/gallon now which is driving up the cost of transportation and as a result food prices are rising and it’s hard for the ordinary Panamanian. Yesterday I took the bus down the mountain to do some grocery shopping. What used to cost 90¢ for the one-way trip is now $1.05.

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