Tag Archives: Retirement

What Day Is It Today?

good morning

What’s it’s going to be like for Mardi Gras today? Degrees in Fahrenheit, current conditions at 7:30 Eastern Time and expected highs.

New Orleans – 36 (feels like 27) High 51
Rio de Janeiro – 84 (feels like 92) High 89
Las Tablas, Panama – 79 (feels like 83) High 90
Bocas del Toro, Panama – 73 (feels like 73) High 89
Dolega, Panama – 73 (feels like 73) High 90
Boquerón (my house) – 73 (feels like 73) High 89

The reason I listed Las Tablas is because it’s where the biggest, most elaborate Carnival celebrations in Panama are held. They rival New Orleans and Rio.

Dolega is there because it’s the closest town that goes whacko over the Carnival Weekend. It would be a two-bus ride to get there and take a bit over an hour, but it’s just too nutso.

In Las Tablas – 

Las Tablas in the day time – 

In nearby Dolega. The spraying of water here and at many of the Panamanian Carnival celebrations is because it’s HOT under the broiling sun when you’re just 8 degrees north of the equator…

It’s a bit different over in Bocas del Toro where the Antillian culture is stronger than the Latin. 

There’s a line in this song that says “throw the baby out the window” but it doesn’t mean a REAL baby.

There is a Mardi Gras tradition of having King Cake Parties during Mardi Gras Season (most people don’t realize how long that actually is. It begins on Epiphany, the 12th night after Christmas and continues until today, Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday.) Hidden in the King Cake is a tiny plastic baby doll, and traditionally the person who gets the baby is supposed to throw the next party. So, some people who get the baby and don’t want to throw a party have been known to surreptitiously palm the baby out of their mouths and throw it out a window. Some, more desperate have been known to actually SWALLOW it.

Everyone loves the Mardi Gras Indians in New Orleans.

But for most of you suckers it’s just another TUESDAY!!!

 

 

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Exercise

I have to admit that until very recently I’ve avoided exercise as much as possible. I’ve lived for nearly three-quarters of a century firmly ascribing to  the belief that one should never run when they can amble, they shouldn’t amble when they can ride. A person should never stand when they can sit and they shouldn’t sit when they can lie down, preferably in the shade of a tree somewhere with a good book.

But a few months ago I was diagnosed with COPD. After some basic tests it was determined that my lungs are only operating at 34% of normal. That’s really not a big surprise considering that for more than half a century I infused my lungs with lots and lots of licit and illicit substances. I stopped smoking a bit over a year ago.

For a long time I’ve known I had emphysema. One doesn’t have to go to med school to figure that out when simple chores leave you gasping for breath. I have pollen allergies and a few months ago something around here in Boquerón was flowering and really giving me a hard time. So I went to the pulmonary doctor at Hospital Chiriquí. One of the things he insisted that I do was to get in shape. “Well,” I thought, I AM in shape. Round is a shape, isn’t it?”

One of the things he insisted that I do was to walk at least a half hour a day. Well, I tried it, but it didn’t work out well. My hips are pretty arthritic. The walk from my house to the end of the street to get the bus is only 211 yards. That’s two football fields and an end zone laid end to end. By the time I get to the caseta I’m in serious need of some heavy-duty pain killers. No kidding. But while a few months ago I was also winded to the point that I needed five minutes or so to return to normal now, with the prescriptions I take, I don’t feel like that anymore.

But I did take the doctor’s orders to heart. I went out and bought a bike because the motion of riding a bike is different than how you use your legs when walking.

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Regular readers may remember that this is the same place I took the picture of the motorcycle a few years ago.

I have to admit that I don’t ride every day. I should, but it’s really a pain in the ass and I go in to David a couple of times a week, and a trip into the city takes up three or four hours at least. Not only that, in order to go for a ride I have to “suit up.” Normally when I get up in the morning a put on a pair of shorts and walk around in flip flops. Period! That’s it! To go riding I have to put on socks, shoes, pants and a shirt.

Until a few days ago I’d been riding from my house up to the Town Hall (El Palacio Municipal).

House to town hall marked

It’s three quarters of a mile and ALL uphill. The difference in the altitude between the house and El Palacio is 77 feet. That’s the equivalent of nearly an eight-story building. I’d have to stop four or five times to catch my breath, but at least my hips didn’t hurt though my thighs felt the burn. I did, though, enjoy the glide back to the house.

Saturday I discovered something a bit easier with more level ground. And one of the bonuses is that there’s no traffic to contend with.

Marked Circle

Going from the house to the main road is slightly uphill for the first third of the street. Then, hanging a left it’s a nice coast down to where I make a right hand turn. From there to the next turn is all slightly uphill as is the short leg. Half of the long leg back to the main road is uphill. Each lap is a quarter of a mile. I can do two laps before I have to stop to catch my breath. Four laps and back to the house is a mile and a quarter with little breathers in there while gliding. Today I did just under two miles before going home. It’s the dry season which means it’s really hot when you’re in direct sunshine. When I get so I can do five or six laps without having to stop for a breather, I’ll tackle the ride up to El Palacio again.

 

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Yes I DO!

One of the stupidest things in Yahoo Mail is when you want to empty your Spam folder. They ask you:  “Are you sure you want to permanently delete all email in Spam?”

Gee, on second thought, I probably should keep, Mrs. Adorable  Lackay’s message about my Pending Payment.

It would be a shame to miss the WINK Giselle BOOBS Scotti sent me.

And surely the United Nations wouldn’t have sent me the email concerning my REF/PAYMENTS CODE: 861-2-YOUR $5.4 MILLION DOLLARS ATM CARD IS READY… if it wasn’t, would they? It would be a big mistake to delete that one, wouldn’t it?

YES, you Yahoos at Yahoo, I’m sure. Absolutely fucking POSITIVE, beyond the shadow of a doubt that I want to permanently want to delete all email in SPAM!

NOW JUST FUCKING DO IT!!!

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Here’s what I’ve been working on…

When people start a blog they go at it with great vigor, posting daily. Usually they taper off after a while and then they post every now and then. I’m a good, or perhaps poor, example of that kind of blogger. But that doesn’t mean I’m not writing. I am, it’s just not for the blog.

So, what is it I’ve been doing lately? I’ve been re-writing a century-old tale of the sea written by a master, Harry Collingwood. Harry Collingwood is the pen name of William Joseph Cosens Lancaster (1851-1922), the son of a Royal Navy captain and educated at the Naval College, Greenwich. He was at sea from the age of 15 but had to abandon his Royal Navy career because of severe myopia. Between 1886 and 1913, whilst working as a marine engineer specializing in harbor design, he wrote 23 nautically based novels as “Harry Collingwood” which honoured his hero Admiral Cuthbert Collingwood, Nelson’s second in command at Trafalgar. (Source: Historical Naval Fiction).

Collingwoods STORIES are excellent, but the style is old and turgid compared to today’s standards. I think it’s a shame that such good stories are left to wither and die of old age. I find stories like “The Log of a Privateersman” at Project Gutenberg. The copyright has long since expired, and this story is over 100 years old. There are a lot of people who download Public Domain books, slap a preface on them while leaving the old text intact, and then offer them for sale online for as much as they possibly can.

What I do is try and make the book read as though it was written in the 21st century, not the 19th. There is hardly a paragraph that I’ve left intact. And it’s not a fast, slash and burn edit, either. This book, which I’m now going through for the final edit, is well over 400 pages long. Collingwood, while writing vividly about action at sea, rarely gets into descriptions of the characters in his books. Almost never. I try to overcome that deficiency.

What follows are the first couple of paragraphs from the book…Collingwood’s original text and my rewrite.

CHAPTER ONE.

THE CAPTURE OF THE WEYMOUTH–AND WHAT IT LED TO.

The French probably never did a more audacious thing than when, on the

night of October 26th, 1804, a party of forty odd of them left the

lugger _Belle Marie_ hove-to in Weymouth Roads and pulled, with muffled

oars, in three boats, into the harbour; from whence they succeeded in

carrying out to sea the newly-arrived West Indian trader _Weymouth_,

loaded with a full cargo of rum, sugar, and tobacco.  The expedition was

admirably planned, the night chosen being that upon which the new moon

occurred; it was a dismal, rainy, and exceptionally dark night, with a

strong breeze blowing from the south-west; the hour was about two

o’clock a.m.; there was an ebb tide running; and the ship–which had

only arrived late in the afternoon of the previous day–was the outside

vessel in a tier of three; the Frenchman had, therefore, nothing

whatever to do but to cut the craft adrift and allow her to glide,

silent as a ghost, down the harbour with bare poles, under the combined

influence of the strong wind and the ebb tide.  There was not a soul

stirring about the quays at that hour; nobody, therefore, saw the ship

go out; and the two custom-house officers and the watchman–the only

Englishmen aboard her–were fast asleep, and were secured before they

had time or opportunity to raise an alarm.  So neatly, indeed, was the

trick done that the first intimation poor old Peter White–the owner of

the ship and cargo–had of his loss was when, at the first streak of

dawn, he slipped out of bed and went to the window to gloat over the

sight of the safely-arrived ship, moored immediately opposite his house

but on the other side of the harbour, where she had been berthed upon

her arrival on the previous afternoon.  The poor old gentleman could

scarcely credit his eyes when those organs informed him that the berth,

occupied but a few hours previously, was now vacant.  He looked, and

looked, and looked again; and finally he caught sight of the ropes by

which the _Weymouth_ had been moored, dangling in the water from the

bows and quarters of the ships to which she had been made fast.  Then an

inkling of the truth burst upon him, and, hastily donning his clothes,

he rushed downstairs, let himself out of the house, and sped like a

madman down the High Street, across Hope Square, and so on to the Nothe,

in the forlorn hope that the ship, which, with her cargo, represented

the bulk of the savings of a lifetime, might still be in sight.  And to

his inexpressible joy she was; not only so, she was scarcely two miles

off the port, under sail, and heading for the harbour in company with a

British sloop-of-war.  She had been recaptured, and ere the news of her

audacious seizure had reached the ears of more than a few of the

townspeople she was back again in her former berth, and safely moored by

chains to the quay.

It was clear to me, and to the rest of the _Weymouth’s_ crew, when we

mustered that same morning to be paid off, that the incident had

inflicted a terribly severe shock upon Mr White’s nerves.  The poor old

boy looked a good ten years older than when he had boarded us in the

roads on the previous afternoon and had shaken hands with Captain Winter

as he welcomed him home and congratulated him upon having successfully

eluded the enemy’s cruisers and privateers; but there was a fierce

glitter in his eyes and a firm, determined look about his mouth which I,

for one, took as an indication that the fright, severe as it undoubtedly

was, had not quelled the old man’s courage.

It was a miserably rainy night in late October, 1804, when the French lugger Belle Mere hove-to in Weymouth Roads. Silently, three boats were lowered over the side and about forty men, manning muffled oars, snuck into the harbor and boarded the West Indian trader Weymouth loaded with a full cargo of rum, sugar and tobacco that had just arrived the previous afternoon.

The Weymouth was the outside vessel in a tier of three at the dock waiting to be unloaded, so the boarders had nothing more to do when they boarded her then cut her adrift and allow her to glide quietly down the harbor with bare poles influenced by the strong wind and ebb tide.

Because the weather was so foul there wasn’t a soul stirring on the quays at that hour so no one saw the ship leaving. The two customs-house officers and the watchman, the only Englishmen aboard, were fast asleep when the boarding party swarmed over the side of the ship and they were trussed up and gagged before they had a chance to raise an alarm.

The whole operation had been pulled off so smoothly that poor, portly Peter White, the ship’s owner, didn’t know his ship was missing when he got out of bed at the first hint of dawn. He slipped his feet into a pair of slippers and shuffled to his bedroom window to gloat over the sight of his new ship, moored opposite his house on the other side of the harbor. He stared out the window; his mouth opening and closing like a fish’s while his brain tried to process the fact that his pretty ship was missing. He looked, looked again and it finally registered that the ropes that had tethered the Weymouth to the bows and quarters of the ship she’d been tied to the night before were dangling limply into the gray water of Weymouth harbor.

When he finally accepted that his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him he struggled to get into his clothes, hopping first on one foot and then the other as he battled to pull his pants over his heavy, stubby legs and he didn’t bother wasting time trying to don any hose. Huffing and puffing he had little success buttoning his great coat over his massive stomach as he rumbled down High Street, and across Hope Square, scattering fishwives and draymen in his path while leaving a string of oaths distinctly heard above the sound of horse’s hooves and iron-bound wheels rumbling over the cobble stones. Little flecks of white spittle gathered at the corners of his tiny, oddly-shaped mouth as he prayed aloud that the ship, along with her cargo, which represented the bulk of his lifetime savings might, against all hope, still be where she had been when he’d gone to bed the night before. She wasn’t.

Miraculously, though, about two miles off shore, under sail, and headed for the harbor in the company of a British sloop-of-war, was the Weymouth! An hour later she was back in her former berth and made fast to the quay with chains this time, rather than rope.

I had been about 3/4 of the way through this when my old Hewlitt-Packard notebook computer died. I hadn’t been good about backing my work up and lost about 2/3rds of what I’d done. Now I’ve finished the first go-round, backing up to an external drive at the end of each chapter. I’ll run through it once more, adding here, snipping there, and probably around the first of April I’ll put it up for sale.

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What Did You Say?

When learning a new language, like I’ve been trying to do with Spanish since retiring here to Boquerón, I’ve long advocated that one should talk to themselves in the new language. I know it might seem silly, especially in light of the fact that one will be making mistakes that cannot be quickly corrected, but I feel it’s good practice, never the less.

When listening to the radio, watching television, or simply listening to passing conversations of native speakers as you go through the day, it’s important to try and simply absorb what’s being said. Don’t try and translate what you hear into your native tongue. Try to just “understand” what you hear as naturally as you would hearing your own language.

There are certain things that just naturally trip off my tongue, now. Things like “gracias,” “buenos dias,” “¿como esta?” “bien, gracias, y usted?” and “igualmente” when someone tells me to, “passe un buen dia.” There’s no thought processes involved. No translating from one language to another. These things JUST ARE!

I believe I’ve written, before, that I sometimes dream in Spanish now. But as when I dream in French, which happens rarely but every once in a while, still, it’s alway appropriate. That is, I speak Spanish to the people in my dreams who simply wouldn’t understand me if I spoke to them in English.

There are certain words and expressions I use from time to time in both Spanish and French. Things like “Bueno” when I’ve accomplished something like hanging clothes on the line or finish washing a load of dirty dishes.  I often use my favorite word in ANY language with an appropriately, “et voilá!”  But today something happened that was completely out of the ordinary. One of those defining moments in a person’s life.

It’s HOT this time of year in Panama. It’s what they call “Summer.” The “Dry Season,” when there are no afternoon showers to moderate the sweltering temperatures. As I sat on the bus in the terminal in David (DahVEED) I fanned myself with a hand fan I carry in my back pack for moments like this. Then, when I got off the air conditioned bus and into the dry, 90+ degree day back in Boquerón, I set my two heavy bags of groceries on the bench of the caseta (bus stop) and something happened that shook me to my core. The voice inside my head said, “La brisa siente buena.” “The breeze feels nice.” I didn’t think “The breeze feels nice” in English and translate it into Spanish. My mind simply said, “La brisa siente buena.”

As the Borg are fond of saying, “You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.”

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New Year’s Eve Repast

I was watching this video (the kids are fantastic, by the way) when I thought I heard someone calling my name outside. I went to the door and there was my next door neighbor with a plate of New Year’s food for me. A Panamanian tradition. He didn’t knock on my door because the man only had one arm and he was holding this plate which left him no way of knocking on the door.

What the plate offers is rice with guandu (rice and pigeon peas), baked ham and, of course, home made tamale rich with one of the free-range chickens that roam around my yard daily, but I doubt I’ll recognize which one is missing from the flock.

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It’s not uncommon for my neighbors to share their food with me. Things are different down here in Panama and when I get invited to my neighbor’s birthday parties like last week, or receive a plate of food from a neighbor as I did just a little while ago, all I can say is that I LOVE IT HERE!!!

 

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There’s No Escaping Assholes…

It saddens me when I read about what’s going on in my country. The incredible polarization of the people is awful. It’s awful that a certain portion of the people have stigmatized the word “Liberal” and somehow turned it into a four-letter word.

You go online to certain forums and conservatives are crowing about their stunning “victory” in November’s election. They are completely incapable of reason. When only 33% of the total number of registered voters bother to go to the polls and your side barely ekes out HALF of THOSE votes, or roughly 16.75% of all registered voters, please explain to me how that becomes an overwhelming endorsement of conservative policies?

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Yes, my Facebook page is filled with anti-conservative and anti-theist posts, so in some respects I’m as intolerant as those I criticize. But I DON’T promote racist points of view, misogynistic points of view, nor do I support homophobia. There are a lot of people who can’t stand what I post there and I’ve had a brother, a cousin and a nephew “unfriend me” on Facebook, but I look at it like this…

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But no matter how far one separates themself from the heartland of the conservative twatwaffles they are always around. You just have to look at local web forums like Boquete.ning which is sort of a gringo bible down here to see a whole cadre of Climate Change Deniers, people who believe Obama is the anti-Christ incarnate.

And today, as I was eating lunch in David a white pickup passed with these two flag decals on the tailgate…

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It’s really rather depressing to know that ignorance and intolerance and downright bigotry is able to secure a passport.

 

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Boquerón Celebrates Christmas

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here. Houses all over the neighborhood are sporting flashing Christmas lights, even the worst-kept house on the street, the one where they toss their trash into the front yard, has a couple of strings of colored lights. Go into the supermarkets to do your shopping and you’re assaulted with the same Christmas carols you hear in the States. And I mean the SAME because most of the ones I heard the other day in Romero were in English!

Yesterday, the 19th, when I got on the bus at the terminal to come home after paying a couple of bills in downtown David and checking out the inventory at the city’s major bicycle store, there was a notice taped to the window of the bus about Boquerón’s Christmas celebrations. There was to be a choral presentation at the bandstand in our lovely little park up the hill at 5 p.m. Then there was going to be a parade going from El Cruce (the crossroads where the Boquerón Road meets the Interamerican Highway on up to the park starting at 7 p.m. followed by fireworks at 9. Naturally the times listed were merely suggestions, approximations since this is Panama, after all, with the typical Latin attention to punctuality.

Taking that into consideration and factoring in that my street is about two kilometers up the hill from El Cruce I headed up to the corner at about 7:45. That this was a major event in the year for my neighbors was evident when I got to the bus stop and nearly every one of my neighbors was there, many having brought a chair from home to sit on. The little kids ran around playing tag while the teenaged girls all stood or sat around totally absorbed in texting away on their cell phones, probably to teenaged girls on the other side of the street waiting for the parade to come by, too.

The head of the parade made it to our street at about 8:30 with a float, of sorts, with what I have to assume was the Queen of the event who waved at the crowd of about 50 or so. It just struck me, but besides myself, there was only one other adult male in the group on either side of the street. Like New Orleans parades the riders on the float tossed goodies to the plebeians. No beads, but handfuls of tiny, penny candies which were pounced on with unbridled fury. It took over an hour for the parade of floats, lit up cars, trucks, motorcycles and bicycles to pass our location. It wasn’t that the parade was incredibly lengthy, but this is a two-lane road up and past the town square with one single, two-lane road branching off from it so there were long delays while the first participants were disbanding up above.

Looking at the parade with gringo eyes it was pretty shoddy. The floats were extremely basic with a few lights and minimum creativity. But that’s looking at it with “gringo eyes.” An expat has to look at it with a local’s eye. This was put on by people who, for the most part, have very little disposable income compared to people living even in small towns in the States. Those in the parade don’t have a lot of money to spend making elaborate, Rose Bowl Parade-style floats. The handful of candies tossed to the crowd is probably in proportion to THEIR income as the beads and doubloons  tossed by Krewe members on a Mardi Gras float. For the residents of tiny Boquerón this WAS a major event for both the parade participants and the people lining the route. THEY were happy. THEY enjoyed it. And, when it’s all said and done I enjoyed it because it was nice to see my neighbors having fun on a warm summer evening (yes, it’s SUMMER HERE down by the equator).

The fireworks went off at about 9:30 and they would have done ANY small town in the States proud. People here LOVE their Fuegos Artificiales.

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SOLD!

Heading over to Bugaba this morning to transfer title on the motorcycle. Got close to my asking price so I’m satisfied. Of course the money is already gone. I have some massive dental work that needs to be done. Fortunately it’s a LOT less expensive here than in the States, but it’s still a serious chunk of change.

Home Safe 3

I just never used it like I thought I was going to. There were roads I’d pass on the bus going to and from David and Bugaba and wonder what was down them. I did ride down several of them and the answer was…not much.

 

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Getting Ready For Christmas

‘Tis the season to be jolly and I’m getting into the groove here in Boquerón. I spent all weekend getting my Christmas tree up, but it was certainly worth the effort.

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