Tag Archives: Retirement

Christmas Present to Myself

A couple of days ago my computer started acting weird again. First I got a message that my hard drive was maxed out. Couldn’t load anything more onto it which seemed strange since all my big items like videos, photos, that sort of thing are on a separate hard drive. I went to the control panel and deleted a bunch of stuff that I never or rarely used and gained just under 6 gigs of free space. Then a couple of days later when I’d put the cursor over something it would strobe like crazy and when I’d go to turn the computer off the little sign thingy would come up and disappear before I could click “turn off” so I’d end up hitting the on/off button until I could crash the thing and get it to shut off.

Yesterday I went down to the local PriceSmart (sort of a Costco big box store). They had a Sony Vaio there with a 500 gig hard drive and a lot more RAM than the old computer had and it had an English keyboard which meant the operating system would be in English. Panama, of course, is a Spanish-speaking country and the keyboards and operating system are Spanish-oriented. It’s easy to spot a Spanish keyboard. Just to the right of the “L” key on our English QWERTY keyboards, where the colon and semi-colon key is found, the Spanish keyboard has an “ñ” and the colon key is somewhere else though I never bother to look for it. The upper row of keys is our beloved QWERTY but there are some other subtle differences. I found those out when I used Spanish keyboards at some of the cyber cafes when I was first visiting Panama. Using them is a bit different from what we’re used to. For example, when you try and log into your email account as in “JustMe@yahoo.com” there is a convoluted, three-key sequence that requires you to hold your tongue in a certain way or the @ sign won’t appear. Then you have to find some kid sitting nearby working on their Facebook page to show you how to do it.

Well, this wonderful unit was available for $829 plus 7% sales tax. Would have set me back $887.03. Hmmm. Let me think about this for a little bit. But one rule of thumb for buying anything here in Panama is if you see it, buy it immediately because it probably won’t be around the next time you visit the store. Never the less, I decided to wait.

Back at home I was still having problems with the old computer. It is, after all, about six years old. The CD drive will still READ a disc but it’s been nearly two years since it would burn one. However I was thinking about that $887.03. The .03 was what was bothering me. So, in desperation I bit the bullet, made sure all the important stuff was on the external hard drive and I killed the old machine and took it back to the factory settings. It wasn’t the first time I did that on that machine. I had to do it six or seven months ago, too.

About thirty minutes after reading the message that said “Are you really sure you want to do this you ignorant butt-wipe, YOU?” the computer was back to the factory settings except for one thing…there was still, for some reason, only a little less than 6 gigs of free space on the hard drive. Of course, going back to the original settings wiped out all the bookmarks I had on the web sites I visit. That wasn’t an outrageously horrible problem since I’d been meaning to go through and delete probably 85 to 90 percent of them, anyway. You know how it is, you visit a site, enjoy it, bookmark it and never go back there after a week of so has gone by.

Then as I started the laborious process of visiting all the web sites I go to on a daily basis to bookmark them all over again I though, “this is stupid. Why not go get that Vaio at PriceSmart and put these into a NEW computer? Besides, it’s Christmas time. Why not give yourself a present?”

I needed to go to the bank, anyway, so I got up early this morning and went into David and to the HSBC branch at the Plaza Terronal. There are FOUR different stores there that sell computers so I thought I’d go check them out and see if they had any English-centric models before slogging back to PriceSmart which is actually on the bus route back to Boquerón. After visiting the bank for my monthly withdrawal I dropped into a place called Panafoto. They sell just about everything that has a cord attached to it from toasters to washing machines, stoves and refrigerators and, of course, computers. I stopped to look at the Vaios to see what they were priced at in comparison to the one I’d seen yesterday. They were all a little under the PriceSmart model but they were all Spanish-keyboard models. A sales person asked me if I needed any help and I said I was wondering if they had any laptops with English keyboards. (Keyboard in Spanish is “el teclado” which is easy enough to remember if you link it to the word “tickle” and doesn’t a piano player “tickle the ivories?”

“Yes,” he said, an HP.” Actually he said, “Si, una HP (achie pay) because he only spoke Spanish. He took me to the HP display and there was a Pavilion g6-1b70us notebook. Like the Vaio it has a 500 gig hard drive (five times the capacity of my old unit) and 8 gig of memory. A 15.6” screen and all for only $639.95, which, after sales tax, is $202.28 less than the Vaio. That’s  one month’s rent and a month’s worth of electricity. One tends to think along those lines when living on a fixed income.

Naturally, when I got back home, I checked out what I could buy the same unit for in the States. Buy.com could get it to me for $578.99 which is $60.96 less but I have no idea how much shipping it would have cost so it probably would have cost more than what I paid for it here in Panama. At B&H Superstore it would cost $449.95 after a $50 mail-in rebate (and we know how well THOSE work out). That’s $234.80 less, but when you factor in the round trip from David to Panama City, two nights in a hotel plus air fair to and from Miami, I don’t think I’d save a thing.

For any reader who might be inclined to say, “yeah, but the Sony is a better computer than an HP, yada, yada, yada,” let me just say this is the FOURTH HP that I’ve bought; a desktop and two other notebooks. I drove all three of them into the ground after several years of hard use. I’ve had no complaints about the HP computers and I see no big reason to change.

Which brings me to a story I’ve told here, before, but it’s a good story so I’ll tell it again.

Back at the turn of the year 1974/75 I was working, and freezing my tender young ‘nads off, as a head-hunter in Chicago for a firm that specialized in recruiting and placing computer professionals. Heads of IT departments, systems analysts, that sort of thing. That was back when a computer was a behemoth that took up whole FLOORS of office buildings and were serviced by acolytes in lab coats working in conditions where you could store sides of beef. They were kept so cold because of the heat the machines generated.

One day I did a cold call to a guy who worked at Hewlett-Packard.

After getting his name, scholastic and work background covered I asked him, “So, what are you working on now?”

“Oh,” he said, “it’s real exciting. We’re working on a project for making mini-computers.”

“Mini computers? What the hell are those.”

“There going to be small computers that people will have right on their desks,” he enthused with the fervor of a true believer.

“Yeah, sure thing,” I said to myself. “A computer people will have on their desks.”

“Well, good luck with that,” I said as I cut the interview short without uttering the word “asshole” out loud. “Let me know how that works out for ya.”

As I said, this is my FOURTH mini computer.

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Weird Water In Panama

Water is weird here in Panama. Right now it’s coming out of the sky but not out of the faucet.

There are often times when there is no tap water. Don Ray, who writes the Chiriqui Chatter blog lives in the City of David (Panama’s third largest metropolis which is strange if you think of a place with only four stop lights as a metropolis) often writes that he has no water from his taps. Sometimes it’s for days at a time.

After the recent devastating river flooding that took out one of the bridges on the Interamerican highway there was no water here in Boquerón for several days though, fortunately I was still in Potrerillos Arriba then and never had a moment without water. Often after a heavy downpour water service is cut off because the turbidity in the rivers where IDAAN, the water company, draws its supply from, clogs the filters.

In Panama City, referred to simply as Panamá, where almost half of the entire country’s population reside they’re building a subway system and a couple of weeks ago it was necessary to shut off the city’s entire water supply for a whole weekend to reroute the water around the tunnel. Can you imagine what the outcry would be like in the States if everyone’s water was shut off for a couple of days in a city of a million and a half residents? Heads would roll.

But here people just shrug their shoulders and get on with their lives. If they were French they’d shrug their shoulders, make a “poof” sound through their lips and say “c’est la vie, hein?” (If you think English is a strange language because of its non-phonetic spelling, try French. Hein is pronounced “eh?” Go figure.) I don’t think there’s a Spanish phrase that expresses the same feeling as that one does.

Since water outages are a common, though thankfully not a daily, occurrence there is a good market for large plastic water tanks here. And I mean LARGE. In some cases several hundred gallon tanks. Most of them are black or bright blue and just sitting here I can think of at least four stores in an around David that stock the things along with pumps to feed the water into houses. We don’t have one of those here at this house though there has been talk of getting one. Instead I have three five-gallon pails that I keep filled with water for those times when there is no tap water. Most of the time I just keep them under the roof line and collect rain water in them. I don’t drink it, but use it for other things like flushing the toilet or washing dishes and clothes. I’ll be doing a post about laundry sometime soon.

For drinking water I have a five-gallon cooler thingy that I keep topped off with filtered water that I collect from the faucet when there is tap water, and I have a two-gallon jug of filtered water in the fridge.

When I was over visiting in Bocas del Toro I noticed that many of the houses not only had a big water tank but they had fitted out their roofs with large-diameter PVC pipes where rain gutters would normally be so they could collect and store rain water. Made a lot of sense to me.

Here in my neighborhood where the water supply through the tap is often just a trickle, for some unknown reason, most daytime hours there is one constant water supply. The river. Almost every day I’ll see people coming down the street with towels over their shoulders and a bag in one hand with soap, shampoo and razors and they go down to the river and bathe in the cool water. Quite often I see women bringing down their dirty clothes to do their laundry in the river. Nobody thinks anything of it. Nobody moans and groans about it as far as I know. It’s just how life is here. People cope and get along with living.

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Mi Libro en Español

Last night the English Department of the Universidad Latina in David held an event to honor the authors who wrote the books that students translated as a requisite for graduation. I was one of the authors. Before the event Stephany Michell Peñaloza, who translated the first half of my book Despair! The Ill-Fated Last Voyage of the Admiral of the Ocean Sea, presented me with a bound copy of her portion of the book. She received a grade of 100 for her work!

This is Stephany:

She’s as smart as she is beautiful.

I know they say “pride goeth before a fall,” but I think this is pretty damned cool!!!

I don’t know what happened with the other girl, Deyreth, who was translating the other half of the book and Stephany either didn’t know or wouldn’t say. I stayed up late into the night when I got home reading the book.  While it was, of course, in Spanish, I didn’t have a problem reading it because I knew what it said, anyway. It was just neat seeing it in another language.

The event was kind of funny. While it was for the School of English I was stuck at a table with nine people who didn’t speak a word of the language and my meager Spanish was pushed to the breaking point. One of the gentlemen at the table coined a new word, I believe. David is the capitol city of the Province of Chiriqui. Chiriqui is a unique place and I truly believe if the people here had a choice they would choose to be their own independent country.

The residents of the province are referred to as “Chiricanos.” This one gentleman, whose name I don’t remember, asked me where I lived. I said, “Yo soy gringo.” (I’m a gringo.) He laughed and asked if I lived here. I said I did, in Boquerón. “Ah,” he said with a sly smile, “then you’re a ‘Chiringo’.”

I can live with that.

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Thank God, No Green Been Casserole This Thanksgiving

This is the sixth Thanksgiving I’ve spent outside of the U.S. Two of those were at sea. In ’91 I was coming across the Atlantic on the Jolie Aire and I believe we dined on freshly-caught dolphin. The next one was in ’92. I was on my beloved Nancy Dawson in Isla Mujeres, Mexico. I was nearly broke at the time and I think my Thanksgiving repast that year was refried beans and salsa on tortillas crisped on the two-burner stove.

There were two Thanksgiving dinners while I was over in Antibes. One was at Chez Charlie’s Pub and the other at Le Rouf. They were both good. Turkey, mashed potatoes, etc. Close, but not like in the States, but the effort that the cooks at those two places put in to trying to give the gringo expats a taste of home for the day was appreciated.

Here in Panama it’s just another day. Sort of like how Mardi Gras is in the States except for that thin strip of land between Mobile, Alabama (where the first Mardi Gras was celebrated) and east Texas. In the El Rey supermarket in David where I do most of my grocery shopping frozen Butterball turkeys suddenly appeared in the frozen food section and they were pricey. Around $30/$40 for a 12 pound bird. With quite a large gringo expat community in this area several of the restaurants put on a, sort of, traditional feed bag. Last year I went to the Ciudad de David Hotel and had a fine buffet meal with a couple of beers and an espresso afterwards and with the Pensionado discount it ran about $12 plus tip. Plus I got to watch the New England Patriots football game. Looking at what’s being offered around the area this year it seems the cost of a turkey dinner is anywhere from $15 to $20, topping out at $45 at a very upscale place in Boquete.

Of course the temptation to do go somewhere this year is strong. I’m tempted to try the Cuatro Restaurant which is right on the bus route I take into David. They’re offering grilled turkey breast over sweet potato hash (whatever that is) with cranberry sauce or, braised turkey leg meat over bacon and blue cheese mashed potatoes with cornbread. $15. Dessert will set one back another five bucks.

Okay, so I know you’re all anxious to find out what I did this Thanksgiving. Well, while most Americans would like to believe it’s carved in stone somewhere that we down commercial-sized portions of turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy and that disgusting sting bean casserole today, it’s NOT. Like the name of the day says it’s a day to give thanks for what we have. I’m thankful to be here in Panama and only have to be subjected to the election nonsense that’s pervading the airwaves of America. Gee-ZUS! There you have Ron Paul, 2012’s answer to R0ss Perot. Then there’s the guy named after a slimy amphibian that lives under rocks touting “family values.” Which family, Newt? Your first, second or third? Rick Perry? You know there have to be claw marks on the inside of Molly Ivans’s casket as she tries to get out for just one more go-’round with Governor Good Hair.Plain vanilla Mittens Romney. They guy who crafted the health plan in Massachusetts that “Obama Care” is patterned after and now he has to eat crow and denounce his own plan. One question about the Mormon magic underwear, Mitt…boxers or briefs? And I don’t even want to get started on the three stooges of insanity: Bachmann, Santorum and Cain.

I’m thankful to be living in a beautiful country surrounded by friendly people and being able to enjoy a comfortable lifestyle on what little money I have.

I’m thankful that I woke up to another day.

Though I’ve moved all my stuff into the house in Boquerón there are still things I need so I decided, instead of going to have a semi-traditional Thanksgiving dinner I’d go do some necessary shopping and stop at a place along the way that a lot of people around here have been writing about lately. I stopped off at the Chirqui Mall and had a delicious Philly cheese steak sandwich. Most places here fall flat on their faces trying to cook gringo food. Don’t EVER order a hamburger. They don’t have a clue. But the cheese steak sandwich was spot on delicious. Grilled onions, heavenly melted cheese all done in a very nice Italian-bread roll. Yummy to say the least. Maybe next year I’ll go have turkey and the fixings but this year I was thankful for what I had.

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Twofer Tuesday

When I got the idea to document my last week of sunrises, +1, here on the mountain in Potrerillos Arriba, this is the kind of morning I’d been hoping for. So far the sunrises haven’t been as glorious as they often are here, but this morning didn’t disappoint me. It was so good, in fact that I have to give you two shots instead of just one.

It started off like this:

And ended up like this:

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A Week To Go In Potrerillos Arriba

I’ve got one week left up here on the side of the mountain in Potrerillos Arriba. The owners return next Thursday. The travel from Taos, New Mexico, and are exhausted by the time they get here, so like I did last year I’ll have a dinner prepared for them. Last year I made a nice Cuban Picadillo like I used to eat in Florida. This year I’ve decided to do chicken ala king. Since the buses stop running early, here, I’ll stay over night and go over to Boqueron in the morning.

This may bore you over the next week, but I’m going to be posting a shot of the sunrises I have left in this beautiful setting. I’ve been very fortunate to have had the opportunity to live in this house. I’ll definitely miss sitting out on the front porch with my morning cup of coffee made from beans grown just over the valley to the east.

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The Survivors

Just a few weeks “Columbus Day” was celebrated in the United States by almost everyone except the Native Americans. The coming of the white man nearly destroyed the native population. The Europeans brought dreadful diseases with them that wiped out entire populations of the people who were already living here. A simple case of the sniffles would rampage through villages leaving a wake of destruction which was to the indigenous people what the Black Death was to the Europeans.

It occurred to me recently riding on the bus with half a dozen Ngäbe Indians that these were the descendants of the strong. The survivors.

Sunday I went with some gringo and Panamanian friends up to Boquete for a special program being put on by the Lions Club. I caught these photos of some of the survivors.

Since it’s the rainy season here we weren’t disappointed and I caught this snap of a young girl who was hiding out from the showers under a tree.

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Thinking of a move to Panama? Read This First

There is a feature for WordPress bloggers called “Tag Surfer.” It hones in on what other bloggers have written that you have expressed an interest in. Today I found a post by an unknown (there’s no”About” section attached to the blog so I don’t know who wrote it. It’s called:

http://livingtheamericandreamineurope.wordpress.com/

And the title of the post was: “So, You Want To Move To Europe? Part Two I have to admit I didn’t see Part One.

Anyway, the unknown author presented an article from Cracked.com and the post:

http://www.cracked.com/article_19363_6-reasons-your-plans-to-move-abroad-might-not-work-out.html

Now, Cracked.com is a humor site, but there’s a lot of truth in this post. Here are the six reasons given and I’ll add my own notes but you need to read the article for yourself if you’ve ever thought about moving to Panama or any other country that’s not your own…

#6. The People There Probably Don’t Want You

Personally I haven’t met anyone here in Panama like that, but I know they exist. My lawyer told me once that she has friends who don’t like gringos. Hey, I understand. I don’t like most of them either.That isn’t to say I don’t have some gringo friends here, but for the most part I avoid gringos. I went to the Tuesday Market in Boquete once and I shudder to think of ever having to go back again. I bought what I came to get and left as soon as possible. But then again, I do that with shopping in general. That may have something to do with sex. (No, not THAT kind of sex. Sex as in which one you were born into.) Most women go love to go “shopping.” That doesn’t mean they’re going to buy anything when they go, but that’s the term most women use. Men, on the other hand when they have something they want or need to get, they go to the store, find the item or items, pay for them and leave.

#5. Their Governments Don’t Want You, Either

Panama is a little bit different. They are actually trying to make it easy for people, retired people that is, to move to this small country where they will voluntarily spend their retirement income.

#4. Other Countries Treat Illegal Immigrants Worse Than America

Who knows about Panama? I do know, that despite having a Pensionado Visa, and am “legal,” I am perpetually a guest in this country and can be told to leave at any time for any reason or no reason at all. I hope I never have to find out how their extradition process works.

#3. What You Hate About America, You Find Everywhere

Now this is spot on. Don’t think moving somewhere else is going to change a lot of things. I never went to McDoo Doo’s in the States and I’m NOT going to go to one here. But I hate having to go all the way to Panama City for some tasty, spicy fried chicken. LOVE that chicken from Popeyes. Pio Pio just doesn’t cut it and KFC which is here in David, gets the same treatment as Mc Doo Doo’s. Didn’t eat it there won’t here, either. Same thing goes for Domino’s, Pizza Hut and TGIF,, all of which have a presence here in David.

#2. Adapting Will Be Harder Than You Can Imagine

I think this is something most new expats never really expect. Good old CULTURE SHOCK. It’s GOING to happen to you. There’s no way you can avoid it. You’re not in Kansas anymore. Again, personally, I haven’t been hit with culture shock here even though I’ve been “in country” for a year and a half. And I think I know why. About six months into my three year stay in France culture shock punched me in the gut. I wanted to leave. But I had a job that I said I’d do and I stuck it out. Things got better. Then, about six months after I got back to the States I experienced culture shock again. I wanted to go back to France so bad you can’t believe how much. But I didn’t have the money to do so, so I stuck it out and things got better, sort of. Now, I think having gone through two bouts of culture shock before I’ve simply learned to take things as they come. Things aren’t going they way you want them to? Well, TOUGH TITTY! That’s the way things are…DEAL WITH IT!

#1. You Will Likely Just Hang Out With Other Americans

This is definitely true for WAY TOO MANY GRINGOS who move here and settle around Boquete and Volcan. Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with that but it’s just not how I want to live here. Yes, as I said, I do have gringo friends here but, by and large, I avoid most gringos as if they had some kind of infectious disease. But that’s just me. Your mileage may differ.

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Two Nights – No Lights

We’re just starting the rainy season here. A little rain each day after weeks of none at all. And yesterday we had our first real drenching downpour in a long time.

Wednesday morning started wet and dreary. Rain and then fog. I usually meet with a group of gringos who get together on Wednesday mornings to practice speaking Spanish with each other, but with the fog cutting visibility down to about a hundred yards at 8:30 I wasn’t about to risk the bus ride down the mountain. Bummed me out because I would be missing my third session in a row. However things cleared up around 10 and I went down to David to do some grocery shopping.

When I got back to the house around 3:30 it was raining pretty heavily and there was no power at the house. This isn’t too unusual around here when it’s raining so I gave it little thought. But as afternoon turned to dusk and still no lights I began to worry and then when I saw lights in the houses below and above me I was a little peeved. Fortunately I have a couple of lanterns and the stove uses gas so I was able to eat. Of course there was no internet connection and I get testy when I can’t get online at will. I like to read and there are some books here at the house I’ve never read so I wasn’t at a complete loss for something to do and I ripped through The Long Walk by Slavomir Rawicz. It’s about seven prisoners who escaped from a Siberian camp in the Soviet Gulag just at the beginning of the Second World War. They walked from the camp near the Arctic Circle to India. They walked  across the Gobi Desert. Eventually four of them made it to India.

In the morning I went to the home of Feli and Alba, my nearest neighbors and asked if they’d had lights the night before. Alba said they had and then went into the house and returned with my light bill in her hand and an attitude of “oh, here.” The bill was 30 days past due and the power had been shut off. Now here in Panama the bill is hand delivered since there is no mail delivery. There are no real addresses, either. My electric bill in Boqueron had an address of “the two-story house near the health clinic.” (You’ve got to love that.) Here in Potrerillos the bill is given to Feli who then passes it on to me, but right now he’s working off in the mountains planting tomatoes and Alba…well, who knows.

Anyway, I hightailed it down to Dolega where I paid the $48.36 due and a reconnection fee of $10.99. The woman at the Union Fenosa branch office said the electricity should be on by the time I returned home. Well, it wasn’t. I called the company around 1:30 in the afternoon and they said it should be turned on by 3:30. It wasn’t. I called again at 4:00 and was assured I’d have power soon. Then came our downpour for the next couple of hours. I called again at a quarter to six and was told the man who reconnects the power doesn’t work after six.

So, another night without lights. I listened to Bryce Courtney’s Brother Fish on my iPod until the battery died and then ripped through The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby before turning in for the night.

Now, I’m getting a little worried because everything in the freezer is starting to thaw out. Not a good situation because there’s a lot of food there and I sure can’t eat it all before it goes bad.

This morning, at 9:30 the power got turned on again. Whew. Most of the stuff in the freezer is a bit soft but we’ll just see how things develop.

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Panama’s Latest Road Hazard

Well, today, just before noon I completed the Panamanian Driver’s License saga.

I arrived at the license bureau in David at about a quarter to 10 to stand at the end of a long line. On a previous visit I’d asked the guard at the door if there was a day or time that was better than others. He said there wasn’t. You just had to take your chances.

The line actually moved quite rapidly, my papers were all in order and accepted and then I simply had to wait to be called. That took about an hour and a half. Quick photo followed by an eye test and immediately afterwards a hearing test. Go pay $40 and wait again for about 20 minutes and there it was. In living color with an absolutely horrid photo but done and done. I’m now eligible to take part in the demolition derby known as Panamanian traffic.

To be honest, the Florida DMV could take lessons from the office here in David. They were courteous and efficient and a lot easier to deal with.

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