Yes I DO!

One of the stupidest things in Yahoo Mail is when you want to empty your Spam folder. They ask you:  “Are you sure you want to permanently delete all email in Spam?”

Gee, on second thought, I probably should keep, Mrs. Adorable  Lackay’s message about my Pending Payment.

It would be a shame to miss the WINK Giselle BOOBS Scotti sent me.

And surely the United Nations wouldn’t have sent me the email concerning my REF/PAYMENTS CODE: 861-2-YOUR $5.4 MILLION DOLLARS ATM CARD IS READY… if it wasn’t, would they? It would be a big mistake to delete that one, wouldn’t it?

YES, you Yahoos at Yahoo, I’m sure. Absolutely fucking POSITIVE, beyond the shadow of a doubt that I want to permanently want to delete all email in SPAM!

NOW JUST FUCKING DO IT!!!

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Here’s what I’ve been working on…

When people start a blog they go at it with great vigor, posting daily. Usually they taper off after a while and then they post every now and then. I’m a good, or perhaps poor, example of that kind of blogger. But that doesn’t mean I’m not writing. I am, it’s just not for the blog.

So, what is it I’ve been doing lately? I’ve been re-writing a century-old tale of the sea written by a master, Harry Collingwood. Harry Collingwood is the pen name of William Joseph Cosens Lancaster (1851-1922), the son of a Royal Navy captain and educated at the Naval College, Greenwich. He was at sea from the age of 15 but had to abandon his Royal Navy career because of severe myopia. Between 1886 and 1913, whilst working as a marine engineer specializing in harbor design, he wrote 23 nautically based novels as “Harry Collingwood” which honoured his hero Admiral Cuthbert Collingwood, Nelson’s second in command at Trafalgar. (Source: Historical Naval Fiction).

Collingwoods STORIES are excellent, but the style is old and turgid compared to today’s standards. I think it’s a shame that such good stories are left to wither and die of old age. I find stories like “The Log of a Privateersman” at Project Gutenberg. The copyright has long since expired, and this story is over 100 years old. There are a lot of people who download Public Domain books, slap a preface on them while leaving the old text intact, and then offer them for sale online for as much as they possibly can.

What I do is try and make the book read as though it was written in the 21st century, not the 19th. There is hardly a paragraph that I’ve left intact. And it’s not a fast, slash and burn edit, either. This book, which I’m now going through for the final edit, is well over 400 pages long. Collingwood, while writing vividly about action at sea, rarely gets into descriptions of the characters in his books. Almost never. I try to overcome that deficiency.

What follows are the first couple of paragraphs from the book…Collingwood’s original text and my rewrite.

CHAPTER ONE.

THE CAPTURE OF THE WEYMOUTH–AND WHAT IT LED TO.

The French probably never did a more audacious thing than when, on the

night of October 26th, 1804, a party of forty odd of them left the

lugger _Belle Marie_ hove-to in Weymouth Roads and pulled, with muffled

oars, in three boats, into the harbour; from whence they succeeded in

carrying out to sea the newly-arrived West Indian trader _Weymouth_,

loaded with a full cargo of rum, sugar, and tobacco.  The expedition was

admirably planned, the night chosen being that upon which the new moon

occurred; it was a dismal, rainy, and exceptionally dark night, with a

strong breeze blowing from the south-west; the hour was about two

o’clock a.m.; there was an ebb tide running; and the ship–which had

only arrived late in the afternoon of the previous day–was the outside

vessel in a tier of three; the Frenchman had, therefore, nothing

whatever to do but to cut the craft adrift and allow her to glide,

silent as a ghost, down the harbour with bare poles, under the combined

influence of the strong wind and the ebb tide.  There was not a soul

stirring about the quays at that hour; nobody, therefore, saw the ship

go out; and the two custom-house officers and the watchman–the only

Englishmen aboard her–were fast asleep, and were secured before they

had time or opportunity to raise an alarm.  So neatly, indeed, was the

trick done that the first intimation poor old Peter White–the owner of

the ship and cargo–had of his loss was when, at the first streak of

dawn, he slipped out of bed and went to the window to gloat over the

sight of the safely-arrived ship, moored immediately opposite his house

but on the other side of the harbour, where she had been berthed upon

her arrival on the previous afternoon.  The poor old gentleman could

scarcely credit his eyes when those organs informed him that the berth,

occupied but a few hours previously, was now vacant.  He looked, and

looked, and looked again; and finally he caught sight of the ropes by

which the _Weymouth_ had been moored, dangling in the water from the

bows and quarters of the ships to which she had been made fast.  Then an

inkling of the truth burst upon him, and, hastily donning his clothes,

he rushed downstairs, let himself out of the house, and sped like a

madman down the High Street, across Hope Square, and so on to the Nothe,

in the forlorn hope that the ship, which, with her cargo, represented

the bulk of the savings of a lifetime, might still be in sight.  And to

his inexpressible joy she was; not only so, she was scarcely two miles

off the port, under sail, and heading for the harbour in company with a

British sloop-of-war.  She had been recaptured, and ere the news of her

audacious seizure had reached the ears of more than a few of the

townspeople she was back again in her former berth, and safely moored by

chains to the quay.

It was clear to me, and to the rest of the _Weymouth’s_ crew, when we

mustered that same morning to be paid off, that the incident had

inflicted a terribly severe shock upon Mr White’s nerves.  The poor old

boy looked a good ten years older than when he had boarded us in the

roads on the previous afternoon and had shaken hands with Captain Winter

as he welcomed him home and congratulated him upon having successfully

eluded the enemy’s cruisers and privateers; but there was a fierce

glitter in his eyes and a firm, determined look about his mouth which I,

for one, took as an indication that the fright, severe as it undoubtedly

was, had not quelled the old man’s courage.

It was a miserably rainy night in late October, 1804, when the French lugger Belle Mere hove-to in Weymouth Roads. Silently, three boats were lowered over the side and about forty men, manning muffled oars, snuck into the harbor and boarded the West Indian trader Weymouth loaded with a full cargo of rum, sugar and tobacco that had just arrived the previous afternoon.

The Weymouth was the outside vessel in a tier of three at the dock waiting to be unloaded, so the boarders had nothing more to do when they boarded her then cut her adrift and allow her to glide quietly down the harbor with bare poles influenced by the strong wind and ebb tide.

Because the weather was so foul there wasn’t a soul stirring on the quays at that hour so no one saw the ship leaving. The two customs-house officers and the watchman, the only Englishmen aboard, were fast asleep when the boarding party swarmed over the side of the ship and they were trussed up and gagged before they had a chance to raise an alarm.

The whole operation had been pulled off so smoothly that poor, portly Peter White, the ship’s owner, didn’t know his ship was missing when he got out of bed at the first hint of dawn. He slipped his feet into a pair of slippers and shuffled to his bedroom window to gloat over the sight of his new ship, moored opposite his house on the other side of the harbor. He stared out the window; his mouth opening and closing like a fish’s while his brain tried to process the fact that his pretty ship was missing. He looked, looked again and it finally registered that the ropes that had tethered the Weymouth to the bows and quarters of the ship she’d been tied to the night before were dangling limply into the gray water of Weymouth harbor.

When he finally accepted that his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him he struggled to get into his clothes, hopping first on one foot and then the other as he battled to pull his pants over his heavy, stubby legs and he didn’t bother wasting time trying to don any hose. Huffing and puffing he had little success buttoning his great coat over his massive stomach as he rumbled down High Street, and across Hope Square, scattering fishwives and draymen in his path while leaving a string of oaths distinctly heard above the sound of horse’s hooves and iron-bound wheels rumbling over the cobble stones. Little flecks of white spittle gathered at the corners of his tiny, oddly-shaped mouth as he prayed aloud that the ship, along with her cargo, which represented the bulk of his lifetime savings might, against all hope, still be where she had been when he’d gone to bed the night before. She wasn’t.

Miraculously, though, about two miles off shore, under sail, and headed for the harbor in the company of a British sloop-of-war, was the Weymouth! An hour later she was back in her former berth and made fast to the quay with chains this time, rather than rope.

I had been about 3/4 of the way through this when my old Hewlitt-Packard notebook computer died. I hadn’t been good about backing my work up and lost about 2/3rds of what I’d done. Now I’ve finished the first go-round, backing up to an external drive at the end of each chapter. I’ll run through it once more, adding here, snipping there, and probably around the first of April I’ll put it up for sale.

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What Did You Say?

When learning a new language, like I’ve been trying to do with Spanish since retiring here to Boquerón, I’ve long advocated that one should talk to themselves in the new language. I know it might seem silly, especially in light of the fact that one will be making mistakes that cannot be quickly corrected, but I feel it’s good practice, never the less.

When listening to the radio, watching television, or simply listening to passing conversations of native speakers as you go through the day, it’s important to try and simply absorb what’s being said. Don’t try and translate what you hear into your native tongue. Try to just “understand” what you hear as naturally as you would hearing your own language.

There are certain things that just naturally trip off my tongue, now. Things like “gracias,” “buenos dias,” “¿como esta?” “bien, gracias, y usted?” and “igualmente” when someone tells me to, “passe un buen dia.” There’s no thought processes involved. No translating from one language to another. These things JUST ARE!

I believe I’ve written, before, that I sometimes dream in Spanish now. But as when I dream in French, which happens rarely but every once in a while, still, it’s alway appropriate. That is, I speak Spanish to the people in my dreams who simply wouldn’t understand me if I spoke to them in English.

There are certain words and expressions I use from time to time in both Spanish and French. Things like “Bueno” when I’ve accomplished something like hanging clothes on the line or finish washing a load of dirty dishes.  I often use my favorite word in ANY language with an appropriately, “et voilá!”  But today something happened that was completely out of the ordinary. One of those defining moments in a person’s life.

It’s HOT this time of year in Panama. It’s what they call “Summer.” The “Dry Season,” when there are no afternoon showers to moderate the sweltering temperatures. As I sat on the bus in the terminal in David (DahVEED) I fanned myself with a hand fan I carry in my back pack for moments like this. Then, when I got off the air conditioned bus and into the dry, 90+ degree day back in Boquerón, I set my two heavy bags of groceries on the bench of the caseta (bus stop) and something happened that shook me to my core. The voice inside my head said, “La brisa siente buena.” “The breeze feels nice.” I didn’t think “The breeze feels nice” in English and translate it into Spanish. My mind simply said, “La brisa siente buena.”

As the Borg are fond of saying, “You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.”

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New Year’s Eve Repast

I was watching this video (the kids are fantastic, by the way) when I thought I heard someone calling my name outside. I went to the door and there was my next door neighbor with a plate of New Year’s food for me. A Panamanian tradition. He didn’t knock on my door because the man only had one arm and he was holding this plate which left him no way of knocking on the door.

What the plate offers is rice with guandu (rice and pigeon peas), baked ham and, of course, home made tamale rich with one of the free-range chickens that roam around my yard daily, but I doubt I’ll recognize which one is missing from the flock.

IMG_0662

IMG_0665

It’s not uncommon for my neighbors to share their food with me. Things are different down here in Panama and when I get invited to my neighbor’s birthday parties like last week, or receive a plate of food from a neighbor as I did just a little while ago, all I can say is that I LOVE IT HERE!!!

 

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2014 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 40,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 15 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

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So, What Did You Get For Christmas?

Every year I splurge a little and treat myself to a Christmas present and also something for my birthday in July.  This year I had to buy a new, replacement computer in the middle of October when the old HP notebook shit the bed and wouldn’t start up any more, so I’m not sure if that qualifies as my Christmas present or not. Since I bought a MacBook Air for a touch more than I get each month in Social Security I didn’t have much spare change to go get something special for Christmas. So I’ll call the MacBook my Christmas present.

I went for the large 13″ screen, which is a tad smaller than the HP. This is what it looks like:

MacbookAir13_03

I’m not going to go into an explanation in this post of why I bought this specific machine. I outlined that here if anyone is really bored and looking for something to read: https://onemoregoodadventure.com/2014/10/10/moved-to-the-dark-side/ If you want to know more about it look it up on your computer.

I will, though, make a few observations…One of the so-called “selling points” for the Macs is that they’re “easier to use” than a PC. Nobody ever explained how they’re easier, and so far, with over two months under the belt, I haven’t found any truth to that statement. There are several things I do like about this computer.

  • It’s light weight. A fraction of what the old HPs weighed, so when I went to the doctor’s appointment last week I didn’t hesitate to bring the MacBook along with me to while away the normally long wait, and I could get some work done editing my next book.
  • It uses “flash” drives instead of a mechanical disc drive for two advantages…reduced weight and without the drive there’s no fan whirring around and you can actually set the computer on your lap without getting second-degree burns.
  • The battery life is everything the Apple ads say it is. I’ve never had a notebook computer with any battery stamina at all. A couple of hours at the very, very best. I have run this unit for a bit more than 12 hours on battery alone!
  • Since it won’t burn you working with it on your lap, and with the extraordinary battery life, I spend most of my mornings out in the shade of the front porch working away with my rewrites. This allows me to occasionally chat with the people passing by on their way down to the river to wash when there’s no water pressure in the homes or simply to go swimming for a while.

Naturally there are some things I don’t quite like.

  • I’m not real fond of the touchpad, though I do use it  when working outside, but I use a regular mouse when I’m on the computer inside the house.
  • One thing that Windows does that I like better than the Mac is the cursor. In Windows you can change the color, change the size and program it so that as you move the cursor it leaves a trail which makes it easy to see where that little sucker is. You can also program it so that simply by pressing the Control key the cursor will flash on the screen letting you know where it’s located. Not so with the Mac. The damned thing gets lost all the time, and if there’s a way of correcting this it’s a HUGE secret.

I’ll be buying a bicycle in a couple of weeks, but that’s sort of to comply with doctor’s orders rather than for a recreational diversion. I’m supposed to walk at least a half hour a day for the cardio/pulmonary benefits, but my 72 year-old hips bother me when I walk. A lot! They don’t bother me when I’m sitting down, so the bike will be less stressful, low-impact exercise. I’ll write about it at the proper time.

 

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Christmas Eve In Boquerón, 2014

The Christmas celebrations here in Boquerón have changed each of the four Christmases I’ve lived in this small, Chiriquí, Panama, Province. Fireworks are a cornerstone of everything. The wet dreams of every adolescent male in the United States are available here. There are stores that sell pyrotechnics year-round and to satiate Panamanian’s desire for loud sounds be it music or explosions, tents spring up all over the place selling “Fuegos Artificiales.”

For two weeks leading up to Christmas Eve youngsters are constantly setting off fire crackers, M80s and cherry bombs and bottle rockets. But Christmas Eve is the culminating event. Four years ago the fireworks that were shot off here in my neighborhood rivaled those of any small town in the States. We were treated to a display, courtesy of Philadelphia Phillies catcher and pride of Panama, Carlos Ruiz whose mother lives on the other side of the Boquerón Road from my house, that would be the envy of many small towns in the States. It lasted a full twenty or twenty-five minutes. The next two years, though, saw a decline in the exuberance of the aerial displays. But those were private shows. No real municipal participation. This year was different. There was an election and Boquerón’s new mayor (Alcalde), I heard, appropriated B/25,000 and we had a town-sponsored parade and fireworks display last week.

This year’s neighborhood fireworks display was the poorest showing yet. Here are the videos I took last night.

This one has no video, but you can hear the sounds of fireworks going off all around the area. Up and down the hill and some firecrackers going off right here on my street…

Then there were two, short bursts of activity and that was it…

While we’ve probably become a little jaded on our block when it comes to these Christmas Eve displays you have to remember that these are paid for out-of-pocket by a local resident and not funded by the town.

 

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“It Is Far Better To Have Gone Alone…

Than not to have gone at all…”(Me)

http://vimeo.com/94842405

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There’s No Escaping Assholes…

It saddens me when I read about what’s going on in my country. The incredible polarization of the people is awful. It’s awful that a certain portion of the people have stigmatized the word “Liberal” and somehow turned it into a four-letter word.

You go online to certain forums and conservatives are crowing about their stunning “victory” in November’s election. They are completely incapable of reason. When only 33% of the total number of registered voters bother to go to the polls and your side barely ekes out HALF of THOSE votes, or roughly 16.75% of all registered voters, please explain to me how that becomes an overwhelming endorsement of conservative policies?

problem

Yes, my Facebook page is filled with anti-conservative and anti-theist posts, so in some respects I’m as intolerant as those I criticize. But I DON’T promote racist points of view, misogynistic points of view, nor do I support homophobia. There are a lot of people who can’t stand what I post there and I’ve had a brother, a cousin and a nephew “unfriend me” on Facebook, but I look at it like this…

facebook-unfriended-magical-trash-took-itself-out-ecard

But no matter how far one separates themself from the heartland of the conservative twatwaffles they are always around. You just have to look at local web forums like Boquete.ning which is sort of a gringo bible down here to see a whole cadre of Climate Change Deniers, people who believe Obama is the anti-Christ incarnate.

And today, as I was eating lunch in David a white pickup passed with these two flag decals on the tailgate…

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It’s really rather depressing to know that ignorance and intolerance and downright bigotry is able to secure a passport.

 

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Language Learning Breakthroughs

Spanish is the second foreign language I’ve had to learn because I ended up living somewhere with a different language than the one I grew up with. Sometimes there are little things we encounter, daily, in our new lives that are mysteries of the language, and then, one day there is a breakthrough and the “secret” is revealed. I had one of those moments yesterday which I will explain a little later.

The first breakthrough happened when I was living in France back in 1990. Antibes, where the boat I was running was located, is a major European tourist location and tour buses were seen all the time. Most of the buses had a mysterious little sign in a window advertising K7. This cryptic message was also seen on music store windows as well, but I had no idea what it was all about.

I arrived in France at the beginning of 1989, but didn’t really come to grips with learning the language until the following year. All that time I kept trying to puzzle out the meaning of K7. Slowly my mind began thinking differently with the new language. My French girlfriend, Florence, and I used to drive a lot on Route Nacional 7 between Cannes, Antibes and Nice. This road was shortened to RN7 which, when vocalized, sounds like Eyre (as in Jane) N Set (actually 7 is “sept” in French but pronounced “set”). As you can see, the way the letters are pronounced are different than we pronounce them in English. For example the letter A is pronounced as AH. B is Bay, etc. The letter K is pronounced “Cah” (like Bostonians pronounce an automobile). Then, one day, walking over to the post office in Antibes, I passed the local music store and the sign in the window didn’t say K7 that morning. It said “Cah Set.” CASSETTE… Of course! Or as the French would say, “Voilà!” (Incidentally, voilà, is my absolute favorite word in ANY language. It covers so much ground)

So, about the revelation in Spanish, yesterday. In stores items are often priced with the notation C/U. When I first came to Panama and encountered it I wondered, “what’s that?” Didn’t know, but assumed it meant “each” and let it go at that. Obviously I was right, but I never delved into exactly what C/U actually meant.

Yesterday my blogging friend, Kris Cunningham, invited me to go along with her and her neighbor, Cedo, to Cedo’s finca up in the mountains near Volcan where she raises dairy cattle and pigs.

IMG_0643(Kris and Cedo entering the finca.)

On the way over, Cedo asked Kris to stop at the Mercado Municipal in Bugaba to buy some rice that is sold at discount prices on Saturdays. She bought two sacks that felt like they probably weighed twenty pounds each. On the way back to the car I asked her how much they cost. She said they were $6 (or here B/6. That’s six Balboas). “Total?” I asked. “No, cada uno.” (Each one) As they say in Antibes, Voilà!  C/U = Cada/Uno.

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